My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
