I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
