That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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