I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
