You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wish you could order shots online.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
