How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i think im in europe. pls send help
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
