I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
