Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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