i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
