and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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