Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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