i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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