Its about making memories worth repressing
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
