How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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