apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
