Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
