I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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