She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize