Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
