I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
