I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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