i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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