I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
