Can Purell be used as lube?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
