so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
