we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize