May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize