I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I have feelings that need drinking.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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