We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
