You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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