Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
