so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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