last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
