Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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