It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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