im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
