Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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