There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
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