Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
