So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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