How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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