When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
