I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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