I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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