I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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