I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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