You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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