you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
