i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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