Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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