What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize