I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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