your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
