yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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