Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm at about main and main street
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
