I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
