On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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