I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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