I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
