i need an iv and a liver transplant
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
