He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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