I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
