Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
