All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
