I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
