Non-Jews are for practice
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
